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Nancy's site, Brave Lettuce, has become a hotbed of debate lately.. mostly friendly, some alarming, but all interesting.
Today, this question was asked in the comments.. "AL and Liz, when it comes time for your children to enter into the word of elementary school and middle school and your child becomes the target of another kid, they poke, prod, and basically torment your son/daughter to where they come home in tears every day as a result, and don't want to go to school as a result, what are you going to tell your kids? And be honest, are you going to waltz down to the school and "insist that this stops now". You know in the kid-dom world that creates more issues. I'll be interested in seeing ya'lls answers because it will happen, not if, will."
AL's response: "...that's a good question, too, about how we're going to handle bullies and tormentors at our childrens' schools. Personally, we are raising D to know how (and when) to defend himself, so that he won't have a victim mentality. We plan to start him in martial arts and self-defense classes as soon as he's old enough to go. (probably within the next two years). We want to instill in him a sense of confidence and the knowledge that he can defend himself if he has to. I think that will help him avoid becoming a victim, and even if he does become one, he'll be more able to defend himself.
I don't encourage or condone fighting, but if he has to kick the crap out of some schoolyard punk to let them know he won't be a victim, well, so be it... I don't want D to be a perpetrator, I just don't want him to be a victim, either."
My response: "Mary Catherine is already in primary school and we feel the single sex private school we have chosen for her has small enough classes and enough adult interaction to prevent the kind of bullying you're referring to.
However, I'm sure that it will happen in some form. Bullying is a hot topic here in the UK at the moment and there is a zero tolerance approach to bullying in Mary Catherine's school.
I would never encourage her to fight it out and I certainly wouldn't send her to martial arts classes to prepare her 'just in case'.
I would hopefully have an open enough relationship with her to encourage her to tell me what's going on. I would them work with her teachers and the school to ensure that the bullying was stopped. I expect her school, teachers, headmistress and board of Governors to help with any problem concerning bullying.
She won't be a victim by telling someone and seeking help instead of karate chopping her way to victory.. she'll be smart enough to know that there are people and resources available to help her. Just because I'm teaching her that violence NEVER solves anything doesn't mean that I'm teaching her how to be a victim. "
What would your response be?Labels: soapbox
Have just had long debate today about all sorts over at Nan's house.. (click 'wow' above) and I'm exhausted. When friends change from what you knew them to be it's kind of a weird thing. Not that I expect time to stand still and people not to evolve and grow.. I'm out of eloquent thoughts, I suppose.
All I know is that I am liberal. A tree hugger. A non-gun toter. A peacenik. I know who I am and I am true to myself. Skeletons in my closet, of course. But none that I deny, hide or pretend never happened.
Bah. Enough. It's late, I'm going to bed.Labels: soapbox
The upcoming Daylight Savings time change is driving me a bit 'round the bend. If you didn't know, the US is 'springing ahead' three weeks earlier than usual this year in an attempt to save electricity. It's all thanks to the Energy Policy Act of 2005 and it means springing ahead three weeks early and falling back one week late.
Now, I'm all about saving energy, encouraging commerce, reducing crime and having fewer traffic fatalities (all the things that are supposed to happen when people have more access to daylight).. believe me, I am. But the amount saved of all those good things is tiny in comparison to the amount of mental anguish I'm going through coordinating work diaries.
See, we used to enjoy a week of being ahead of the States and all our computer programs liked it that way, because that was the norm. Now we throw this Y2K type glitch in and the programs don't know how to cope. So there are patches and fixes flying around and lots of confused secretaries world-wide trying to make sure that we don't lose meetings. Effectively, the UK loses an hour of working time for the next two weeks, until we spring ahead.
I may well be dead or in a rubber room by that point. Via Time.
Labels: soapbox
 I'm visiting here at Mom's school and have just had an interesting discussion (with no children around, of course) centered around one main topic that is quite a hot button for me. The Gays. One person my mom works with believes that homosexuality is wrong and while I know, sadly, that is a widely held belief I just couldn't sit and listen to her spew her views without getting in on the action and presenting an alternative perspective.
Specifically - we spoke about children being taught by a gay teacher. I, for one, would be thrilled if my child, male or female, were taught by a gay teacher as I want them to be exposed to as much diversity as possible. As parents we are responsible for teaching our children values - and while I know I'm incredibly liberal - I also think that bottom line is for everyone to love everyone. The presence of gays, and/or anyone different from 'normal' (which is of course a relative term) in our society - well, let's just say they're not going away or going to dwindle in numbers. To teach our children that they're wrong and bad is just teaching them to be narrow-minded and hateful. Why would you encourage your children to hate?
Mary Catherine is already aware that some people have a mommy and a daddy, some have one parent, some have two moms or two dads. It's just not a big deal. I want her to be around people in loving relationships, regardless of sexual orientation.
So there - put that on your soapbox and smoke it. (sorry mom if I offended you by speaking my mind)Labels: Atlanta, soapbox
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